English 101 Process-Based Peer Review

English 101 Process-Based Peer Review Sheet

Writer’s Name & Title of Essay: Megan Elleser & “Conk” Influence Essay

Reader’s Name: Olivia Thompson

1. Is the introductory paragraph interesting?  Why or why not? What does the writer give you to make you want to continue reading? Can you tell what strategy the writer is using to begin the essay (see handout)?

• I found the introductory paragraph interesting because it explained the time of the story and gave a slight background into the writer.
• The sentence “But of course with my luck things did not go so well.” made me want to continue reading because it seemed like an interesting story would follow.

2. Is there a clear thesis statement?  Can you find a sentence (or two) that reveals the writer’s purpose?

• The thesis is clear that the writer wanted to change their appearance.
• The purpose of the essay is “I was sick of my curly hair and really wanted to have the straightest hair possible.”

                       

3. Type the sentence(s) below that you believe to be the writer’s thesis statement.  If the thesis is implied, state it in your own words below.

• I was sick of my curly hair and really wanted to have the straightest hair possible.

4. Do all of the paragraphs contribute to the development of the thesis?  Is it clear to you how each of the paragraphs relate to the process the writer is examining?  Are any of the required steps or stages left out?  Point out any paragraph(s) that you have difficulty relating to the thesis statement or process.

• All of the paragraphs contribute to the development of the thesis.

5. Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently?  Why/why not?  Note any paragraph that seems out of order.

• No the paragraphs are in chronological order and are affective this way.

6. Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically?  Are there transitions between paragraphs that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected?  Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed?  What suggestions would you make about adding/subtracting specific details?

• See 5

7. Are all of the writer’s paragraphs unified and coherent?  Indicate which paragraphs have any sentences that seem irrelevant (“unity” concerns) or out of order (“coherence” concerns). 

• All paragraphs are unified and coherent.

8. Go back and read the first and last paragraph.  Has the writer fulfilled the obligations he or she established in the introduction?  Does the writer accomplish everything promised in the introduction, or does the essay go off track or seem to switch focus?  Why or why not?  How can the conclusion be improved?

• The writer has fulfilled the obligations from the introductory paragraph. The explanation of the writer’s luck was proved throughout the essay. The discussion of how the chemicals would feel seem to be irrelevant. The writer tells of their experience with the chemicals and that is all that is needed.

9. Now look at sentences.  Does the writer have sentences that strike you as effective because they include strong verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, or striking images?  Does the writer have any words they repeat too often, use incorrectly, or misspells?  Finally, does the writer have any tendencies for error they should be made aware of? (Think comma splices, run-on sentences, switches in verb tense, etc.)

• The sentences have few spelling and grammatical errors.

10. Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper.  Then, describe the two features of the paper that most need improvement.  What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?

• I like that the writer learns to embrace their own hair and not to envy that of the other individuals. Actual sentences should be written for the paper instead of having so many notes in parenthesis. The process paragraph should be broken into different paragraphs.