English 101 Classification & Division-Based Peer Review

English 101 Classification & Division-Based Peer Review Sheet

Writer’s Name & Title of Essay: Mark Gregory & How Do We Find the Student Essay

Reader’s Name: Olivia Thompson

1. Is the introductory paragraph interesting?  Why or why not? Does the introduction specify clearly what is to be classified and/or divided into groups?

• The introductory paragraph is interesting because the writer implies that different people fill positions at K Mart but that all the people are the same. Yes the introduction specifies clearly that workers will be classified into groups.

2. Is there a clear thesis statement?  Can you find a sentence (or two) that reveals the writer’s point or purpose for the classification and/or division?  Type the sentence(s) below that you believe to be the writer’s thesis statement.  If the thesis is implied, state it in your own words below.

• Yes the thesis is that there are many different workers but that they all fit into a certain group.
• The purpose of the essay is “the only thing is that the people rotate out with new people come in and refill their spot into that category.”

3. Is the writer’s basis of classification clear (see “Notes on Classification and Division” posted June 2^nd)? Why or why not?  By what means is the writer grouping his or her subject matter?

• The writer’s basis of classification is clear. The groups of individuals are broken up based upon age and the way that work is performed.

4. Are the groups or categories clearly defined and uniquely named?  Do any seem to overlap or appear oversimplified or based on stereotypes?  Explain.

• The categories are clearly defined and uniquely named. Many high school workers work at minimum wage jobs like K Mart because of the good hours and the money they can make for easy work.

5. Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently?  Why/why not?  Note any paragraph that seems out of order.  Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically?  Are there transitions between paragraphs that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected?  Explain.

• The paragraphs are arranged well.

6. Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed?  What suggestions would you make about adding/subtracting specific examples to help illustrate the writer’s classification and/or division?

• The paragraphs seem well detailed. The paragraphs are adequate the way they are written.

7. Are all of the writer’s paragraphs unified and coherent?  Indicate which paragraphs have any sentences that seem irrelevant (“unity” concerns) or out of order (“coherence” concerns). 

• The sentence about the elderly workers being women and wanting time away from their husbands seems irrelevant and should be removed.

8. Go back and read the first and last paragraph.  Has the writer fulfilled the obligations he or she established in the introduction?  Does the writer accomplish everything promised in the introduction, or does the essay go off track or seem to switch focus?  Why or why not?  How can the conclusion be improved?

• The obligations of describing the different groups of workers at K Mart have been proven successfully in the essay.

9. Now look at sentences.  Does the writer have sentences that strike you as effective because they include strong verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, or striking images?  Does the writer have any words they repeat too often, use incorrectly, or misspells?  Finally, does the writer have any tendencies for error they should be made aware of?  (Think comma splices, run-on sentences, or switches in verb tense, etc.)

• The writer has many grammatical and spelling errors. The writer should proof the essay before the final draft.

10. Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper.  Then, describe the two features of the paper that most need improvement.  What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?

• I liked that the writer grouped themself in the essay. Pointing out that it was mostly females who occupied the elderly group seems irrelevant because there is no other group that is mainly one sex. The conclusion needs work. The writer should explain something that they learned from each group throughout the time that they worked at K Mart.